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December 20, 2005
From the Kellino Zone
Not sure who this is, but they have a knack for corny satire:
An Intercepted Communication
Fellow warriors of Allah:
We have some disturbing news today but do not let your hearts be troubled for we have much encouraging news.
I read the New York Times this weekend and it has come to our attention that our methods of rapidly changing phone numbers to ensure secure communications may not be efficient. It appears that the Americans have some method by which they can track and monitor our communications. This may be part of the reason why we have had no success over the past few years in attacking the American homeland. You will receive new instructions shortly so that we can avoid this threat to secure communications, which is essential for the success of our operations.
While this represents a temporary setback, there is much good news here. We have learned of this threat from the American newspapers and we can now adjust to this threat in the future. Just like when we learned in the American newspapers that the Americans were aware of Osama's satellite phone before the glorious 9-11 attacks and quickly changed our communication methods to protect our operations.
This also demonstrates the weakness of the Americans. Just read their newspapers! The fools are upset that their President might be spying on them! This is absolutely glorious and is certainly a gift from Allah. How else can you explain how Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt and Bill Clinton all abused their civil liberties – Clinton monitored communications without a warrant for economic espionage. But when their President now tries to use the same methods to spy on us, their politicians and newspapers criticize him. And this was a classified program that somehow got leaked to their newspapers! How else can you explain all this other than a glorious gift from Allah! He is watching us and encouraging us to continue our jihad and will ensure our success. These fools deserve to be destroyed for their foolishness and weakness alone.
Even more good news – the American government has suspended the Patriot Act. This is critical because we learned from the American papers how close they were to intercepting our operatives before the glorious 9-11 attacks from their hearings and a program they had called Able Danger. By suspending the Patriot Act, the sharing of information among their bloated bureaucracy is once again prevented. I think I heard one of the Americans refer to this as the “Gorelick wall” once. I think that has something to do with President Clinton. In any case, this dramatically increases our opportunities for success in future operations.
Look at the American fools. They whine in their newspapers that their President is attacking their freedoms by trying to spy on us. They are showing us how weak they are. This shows the opportunities that are available to us! We must continue to follow their politicians and newspapers and learn how to further exploit their weakness. Many of their politicians are calling on the Americans to remove their troops from Iraq. We must listen and observe them closely – their TV stations show pictures of all our bombings and drive these points home.
Praise Allah!
Posted by Mike at December 20, 2005 12:07 PM
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